turquoise fingernails, dripping rain

Sophomore Essay

2011-02-21T13:29:00.000-08:00

I'm writing on the Confessions of St Augustine! So excited...

random from the last year.

2009-08-16T17:43:00.000-07:00

life

2009-08-12T15:41:00.000-07:00

I am officially jobless and homeless in seattle. Well, not homeless, i have many homes thanks to my amazing friends and family. My last day of work was Saturday. I had a shift at the cafe that ended with me being held hostage until 8:30 pm, four hours past the end of my shift. By the time it ended, i was soo happy to leave. goodbye Brasa, EBC, housecleaning, and babysitting; and hello world!
After i got off work, i made a frantic grocery run for my camping trip on sunday-monday, got all my gear into the car, and ran off to my friend Dylan's show. Dylan is leaving seattle, so it was the last show that his band will ever play(I hope not..reunion tour!) I made it in time to hear the last four songs. the show ended abruptly when Dylan's violin was dropped and broken. I stayed and hung out with Dylan and his friends/fans until 1, when he headed to afterparties. i walked over to one of my favorite haunts lava lounge to meet up with Dave and a couple other brasa kitchen boys. It was a gathering to celebrate Dave giving his notice at Brasa. All five of us ended up at Dave's, and we proceeded to celebrate until 7:30 in the morning. Took a three hour nap, then went on a coffee and pizza run before we ever so slowely went off to join the world. It took Dylan and me a few more hours before we were awake, at our houses, and ready to leave for our camping trip. Finally left seattle at 1:30. Arrived at the campground just in time to set up our tent, take a walk and make dinner. Time flew by and before we knew it, we had to pack up and leave. We had a blast. drove back to seattle on monday night, and Dylan flew off to work at burning man this morning. Hopefully we will meet again.
Yesterday morning i slept in until 10, it felt weird to say the least. i sat up, looked around, and realized...i don't have a job anymore. no more schedules, no more rushing to catch my bus. pretty weird. my goal for the day was to spend as much time with caden as possible. which i did. He left today to go on a trip with Boone, and i won't see him again before i head off to school. sad. i'm really going to miss that bugger. and everyone else in seattle..
I have ten days off before i fly out. ten days to pack my life into three boxes and a carry on. Besides packing, i'm going to the doctor, getting a haircut and hanging out with all the people in my life as much as possible. is going to be a party every night. and it's going to be amazing.
On thursday the 20th(Bethany's birthday...oops!) I'm flying to Tulsa to visit mom, chip, wyatt, heather, holly, and anyone else who happens to be there. i'll spend a couple days with them, then i fly off to maryland. Acacia and i are planning to go to maine or new york, but we'll decide when i get there. we aren't sure how tired we'll be from traveling. thankfully, we're Pappas'; we recover fast. We are going to havesome sort of adventure before school starts, even if that only means laying on her bed giggling into the wee hours of the morning.

I am sad to be leaving Seattle and very excited for this new chapter in my life.
i hope to find a nice balance between those emotions.

MY CAMERA IS BROKEN

2009-06-28T23:46:00.000-07:00

no more pictures till it's fixed.

tear.

2009-06-02T12:21:00.000-07:00

I was unable to blog or facebook during my trip, which was probably a blessing in disguise; i spent more time with people. I also only took pictures with acacia's camera, so there won't be any on here...sorry.

This past month has been crazy! I am still trying to process all the conversations i had and people i met(or met again). I've been to Maryland twice, and visited St John's as many times, but this was the first time it's been my school. It was awesome, and exhausting. Things take on a whole different life when they become yours. i love it.

The whole family was together for the first time since christmas last year..i love being able to walk through Annapolis and run into little groups of family everywhere i go. I got to see acacia, and i can't wait to be in school with her next year. when she went off to st john's, conversation seems to have taken on a whole new meaning for her. it's been difficult for me to keep up, but now i have a ray of hope that by the end of next year we will be on a similar level. she is in georgia right now, and i miss her. no random 6am Saturday wake up calls. I'm working on getting skype so we can talk over the internet. i seem to have fallen behind the times, acacia emailed me telling me to get skype, and i had to look up what it was...hmm. the same thing happened with my dad the other day, he mentioned twitter, and i had to have him explain to me what the site was for. needless to say, i haven't been online much lately.

The first week was fun and incredibly busy. run here-run there-go back to start-pay a fine. i had a great time.

The second half of the trip was very weird(in a good way). I had a day of airport horror that i will not go into, and finally arrived in orange county at around 4pm on wednesday. Per picked me up from the airport and we had a great conversation on the drive back to her house. she is lovely. during my visit she kept saying that her hair made her look like a bald eagle, but i think it's beautiful. we got home, ate dinner, then i went for a walk. I haven't really walked around Claremont in over two years, and during that period, my fairytale village has disappeared. there is a whole new development that the Claremonters call "New Pasadena". an accurate title. a little chunk of city in a small town. i don't live there anymore, so i can't complain. but now i don't have a place to revisit all my childhood memories. only the people are left, and i guess that's the only thing that truly matters.

I went to a series of parties over the span of the next five days. it was an interesting experience. I've spent the past four years avoiding anything "high school" and here i was, dropped right into the last week of senior year. i had fun, it seemed like every time i turned around i ran into someone from my 4th or 7th grade classes. friends and acquaintances. it was great, they're all grown up now(kind of).

thursday-sunday was spent in Claremont. Annie picked me up on monday morning and i spent the day with her and had memorial day party with her boyfriend steve and her roommates(which was a lot of fun). i got very sunburned. On tuesday morning, she dropped me off at Evan's new studio in pasedena. We spent a couple hours talking in his garden, then he had to go work for his aunt. I spent the afternoon hanging out with huxley and looking at all his new glass creations. later, he took me for a ride on his bike to see the neighborhood. we went shopping, and made dinner...lost track of time talking, got back to the k-d's house very late. it was a nice visit, hopefully we can do it again soon.

On friday grandma drove up from palmdale to visit with per and me. She and i picked up coffee, walked around the village, and then met up with per for lunch. it was great to see her. I've really missed her company. (thank you for a wonderful afternoon grandma!)

before my trip, i made a list of people i really wanted to spend time with. i saw all of them. Per, grandma, evan, rosie(and all my other girlfriends from sycamore), micah, annie, and everyone else i hung out with; thank you all so much for a fantastic week!

there was only one picture i managed to take during my trip, it's of grandma carol and me. i can't upload it right now, so you'll have to wait.

Aaaahh!

2009-06-02T12:15:00.001-07:00

KALLISTA QUALIFIED FOR THE CROSSFIT GAMES!!!

just thought i'd let everyone know...

http://games2009.crossfit.com/

mas

2009-05-06T20:52:00.000-07:00

Proud parent of two monsters made by another.

Here he tells me about the snowman he made mostly by himself...he was so happy that he made it. he told everyone.

another video of him playing and hanging out...

enjoy!

Monsters eat babies!

2009-05-02T11:40:00.000-07:00

Caden and Jackson playing with clay.

Monsters go RAAWR...this one kiss babies, and this, this one go and eats babies.

School and other things

2009-05-02T11:36:00.000-07:00

To those of you out there that haven't heard, I have officially been accepted to St John's! Though it would surprise me if any of you didn't know, for Acacia proved so thorough in her quest to spread the news, that I think I was the last to know. I got off work at Elliott Bay Cafe to discover a slew of mostly incoherent congratulations and screaming. I went through 5 messages before I found out what the fuss was about.

My travel plans are now set. I'll be in Annapolis from the 14th-20th, and in Claremont/LA area from the 20th-28th. I am going down to see my dearest Per and family, but I hope to go on some adventures as well; and grab coffee with friends.

In other news, Kallista got 5th place in her regional gymnastics competition! Now her ankle is sprained, and we are waiting to see if she'll be able to compete in nationals. I hope so.

I have a new garden! I got myself a plot in a community P-patch about a block away! It's so beautiful. I plant, and I wait, they sprout, and I weed. I love the cycle, it makes me so happy to see things growing in a space that belongs to me.(at least for a year)

I quit my job as Niilartey's(the designer) assistant, life was getting hectic, and I couldn't afford to waste my time with him anymore. It was decided between us that I would still be in his show, but when he no-showed(the fourth time) for a fitting last week, I called it stops. It's a bummer, but not as big a deal as I previously thought. Work has been hard, last week, I made it through a few days working from 8am-3am. stupid last minute cleaning favors. In hopes of going to school prepared, I am working more and trying to save. I work in a restaurant, a cafe, as a cleaning lady, and as a babysitter...and it still seems like i don't make enough to cover the bills.

At the moment, I'm happy to just sit in the sun, pulling weeds in my lovely garden, as my skin prickles in the breeze.

foods are nice

2009-03-02T15:39:00.000-08:00

I made this the other day. yogurt, nuts, berries and molasses. so delicious. i wish i was eating this right now...that would be amazing. either that or taking a nap. hmm.

On to more important matters...

I just submitted my application to St John's! It's finally done...well not completely. They can't accept me until I take the SAT on the 15th. So everything hinges on that. I'm a little nervous because I haven't done anything school related since I tested out of high school in 2007. I'll have to study really hard.

But for now..I'll take that nap.

clothing that flies

2009-03-02T14:59:00.000-08:00

I got the job in the fashion show! It's set for May 9th. I went to meet Niilartey last Thursday. Bethany and MiSuk were going to accompany me, but when I showed MiSuk a picture of him online she exclaimed "OH..him, I know that guy from like ten years ago. He's really nice. I didn't know he was still in fashion.." So I went to meet him by myself. We discussed the show, he had me walk for him, and I was thoroughly embarrassed, realizing I probably walk like a farmer. Suk is going to help me out with that. As we were talking, he starts looking at me funny, and then asks if I would be interested in a job as his assistant. I said yes.

Yesterday was my first day as his assistant. My first official duty is to get his disastrous studio clean so he can start fitting the models for the show. I got a surprising amount of it done in the 3 hours I was there. After that I'll be arranging fittings for the models, doing random busywork for him(e.g. filling his pin cushions and clipping pictures out of magazines), and researching things online. I'm really excited, because he originally went to school to be a painter, and does all sorts of other things on the side, which includes designing clothes. (which are beautiful). A couple months ago, when Annie was here, we found this random little dress shop and went in. Apparently while I was looking through the store, I picked up close to 5 neodandi pieces that I loved...weird coincidences. you gotta love them.

pretty sweet.

st john's

2009-02-17T20:01:00.000-08:00

I am officially applying to St John's.

I've been buried in paperwork lately, so if your someone I love and haven't called or responded to your emails...this is why: CSS Profiles, FAFSA, taxes, transcripts, essays, applications...needless to say, communications have been low. It doesn't excuse me..but maybe it will divert you from thinking I don't like you anymore.

I spent today in EBC, working on my essays and taxes, drinking delicious lattes and eating avocado with goat cheese. yummo. It went well up to the point when I found out my 2007 tax return never got submitted. I have no idea what happened, but I'm an optimist, it'll work out. After that, I was feeling a little crappy, then the night took a turn for the better as I was heading for the door.

This guy walks up to me, randomly asks me if I'm in school. "No, not at the moment"...and he proceeds to hand me his card and ask me if I'd like to be in a fashion show. Call him, because I'd have to come in for fittings.

Hmm, definitely random, but it sort of made my night.

loves it.

I went to his website. It's pretty cool, and looks like the kind of thing I'd be interested in.
if you would like to check it out: http://www.neodandi.com/

I'm into that...

2009-01-27T11:53:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, I was hosting at Brasa, wearing a "flapperish" outfit. There was this couple that came in, and i felt like they were staring at me everytime i walked by. awkward.

Anyway, as they were as I was getting their coats, the lady tells me that she "loves my style." She continues, saying that it might sound weird, but she's starting her own jewelry line, and needs a model....would I be interested?

umm, yes!
So we exchanged information, said goodnight, blah blah blah.

Sweet!

I got a job!

2008-12-14T12:51:00.000-08:00

I had and interview at Elliott Bay Cafe last Thursday, it was pretty chill, and we were finished within 15 minutes. Jonathon(manager)called me in the next morning. So, I officially have a second job!

Tamara Murphy (partial owner of Brasa, as well as the head chef) recently took over EBC, renovated, and reopened a few weeks ago. It's a bookstore cafe, so the menu is pretty basic, but it has an almost gourmet twist. We make sandwiches, soups, salads, specials, baked and other sweets, and coffees, teas, and wine. I am an expediter, making non-espresso drinks, grabbing pastries, ringing people up, etc. My first day was fun, the head barrista is a theater student from Montana, he is very expressive and bubbly, and his optimistic attitude is infectious. I'm excited to be working in a cafe again, with people i like. (and fantastic tips)

... AND IT'S SNOWING! Maybe we'll have a White Christmas after all. :)

Caden drew a picture for me!

2008-12-14T12:39:00.000-08:00

He drew this on Bethany's phone:

pathetic

2008-11-19T15:18:00.000-08:00

i feel silly admitting this, but i've been reading "the twilight saga"...and enjoying it. for 3 out of the last 4 nights, i've been up until around 4:30am...GLUED..to one of the books. the books themselves are OK, but they're addictive.

right now, i'm waiting for the last book in the series. two people have to read it before me, so it might take awhile.

in the meantime, i'm finishing the fountainhead. which, with every turn of the page, amazes me more.

lately i've been in a weird mood. i'm going through our bookshelf and rereading some books i loved in grade school. some of them have been a little disappointing...what is mind boggling when your 12 isn't quite as impressive when your 18. but some of them are just as good: fantastes, tangerine, the moorchild, his dark materials series. yep, they make me happy.

POMPALOOSE!!!

2008-10-21T16:03:00.000-07:00

This is my new love...i love. love . lover. hehe

2008-10-21T13:09:00.000-07:00

MiHyon's birthday party...fun fun fun. good people. good food. good wine. and lot and lots of dancing.

i got there around 9pm. most of the people gone, but the brasa crew was still there.

dance party...

soo cool

2008-10-21T12:13:00.000-07:00

Kallista and i have been getting acupuncture. me to help with my headaches, kallista for her back. having needles tapped into you is a very weird feeling. this week in addition to the normal places (hands, feet, legs, neck and chest) i had five needles in my ear. i had no idea how many points were in your ear...it's a baby map of your body. crazy.

deep breath. tap. deep breath. tap. twist twist.

lies

2008-10-21T11:39:00.000-07:00

I was reading the other morning and there was a paragraph that said everyone lies, no matter how honest they are. then this morning my dad was talking to my brother about experience and how it alters your perception of the world.

If every person looks at the world from a different perspective, as if through a lens. Some peoples lens will be dirtier than others...but none are clean. Everything you see is blurred, and when your brain processes it, it is skewed by your perception of life and your experiences. Thus when anyone speaks, they lie. Not intentionally, but they do lie because the truth has been altered by their perception of the world. And when you listen to someone speak, your mind takes the already skewed idea, and looks at it through your own dirty lens.

Is it possible to tell the truth?

Can you learn to clean your lens? To take information and not compare it to your own experiences...is that wisdom? Or is wisdom what you get when you let your lens get as dirty as possible, to look at the world through a lens of experience? Do you clean the glass to gain knowledge, and dirty it for understanding...

2008-08-26T23:43:00.000-07:00

the racing thought. every time you sit down to write, there comes, galloping toward you, a genius thought. such a brilliant blog topic, or beginning, you can hardly stand it. you rush to record it, to capture it, but alas, before you have written more than a sentence, it's past you. galloping away into the sunset, never to be seen or heard from again.

a tragedy. such a great idea. wasted.

what if you could lasso that thought? tie it up. slap it down. record it. would it be worth it? are those fleeting thoughts you believe to be stokes of genius like you think, or are they just ordinary thoughts made exciting by the idea of sharing them with the world?